His great-great-grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn. He wasn't with custer though. He was holding a sprout-bake and tent meeting and went over to complain. His great-grandfather (also a sprout farmer and man of the cloth) always wore weighted shoes while in the pulpit to avoid any embarrassing levitations during moments of extreme rapture. His great-grandfather (also a sprout farmer and man of the cloth) always wore weighted shoes while in the pulpit to avoid any embarrassing levitations during moments of extreme rapture. his grandfather (lay preacher, taste for sprouts) spoke only in rhyming couplets and owned a pig called Belshazzar. His father (an elder in the Sacred Order of the Golden Sprout) practised body-modification in an attempt to win a bet with his brother (a monk). And then there was him.

Can this be Robert Rankin's autobiography? He swears that it isn't, but as a self-confessed teller of tall tales, whoever is going to believe him?